I hear you feel abandoned and you wish it wasn’t that way. Now is your time. I want to invite you to join our intimate group and speak on it. Let’s support you through this time and provide you the first steps […]
Growing up in my household, I quickly learned which emotions elicited which responses. I learned emotional manipulation. One particular emotion that always got me trouble was my anger. My anger was seen as a form of insubordination, seen as un-cute, unfounded and […]
Growing up in my household, I quickly learned which emotions elicited which responses. I learned emotional manipulation. One particular emotion that always got me trouble was my anger. My anger was seen as a form of insubordination, seen as un-cute, unfounded and unnecessary. When I revealed even a speck of anger whether it was through shedding tears, screaming, I was spanked, banished to my room, told to be quiet or told to leave the house if I didn’t like it. I did not see this kind of interaction at my friends’ houses. Even as the years went on, I saw no others going through what I did.
As I graduated from college, learned about gaslighting and that I was supposed to be competent now, holding down jobs, using my education and taking care of myself. It took all I had to wonder if there were others out there like me that experienced emotional quandary. One of the major triggers for me was, “You are overreacting.”
I started to experience more crying spells, even during work, in my home, in conversations with my parents and them pretty much not recollecting nor feeling they inflicted much damage with their methods.
My parents worked to put a roof over my head, and food on the table. My emotional quandary really wasn’t that much of a priority now.
Here I am sharing this all with you to tell you that before becoming aware of my anger, that it dawned on me how it was actually keeping me back from pursuing things in a way that encompassed everyone.
I wonder what must that feel like, to feel trapped in our own toxic feelings..?
By learning what their needs are. How do we help ourselves to help others more effectively when we cannot meet their needs, and feel like their only source of support? Here is an example some of you may be able to resonate […]
By learning what their needs are.
How do we help ourselves to help others more effectively when we cannot meet their needs, and feel like their only source of support?
Here is an example some of you may be able to resonate with:
Say something suddenly happens and instead of your daily routine being dropping off your child at school, they now have to stay home and essentially, become “home-schooled”. There is a specific subject that they struggle with and that is writing. Let’s say for the sake of this example, you struggle immensely, too, with writing. You try again and again and again to help them but it ends up adding to the strain and stress on you and your child, both feeling dejected that nothing productive is happening, no writing. In spite of excelling in other subjects, it is impacting their morale and in turn, yours.
You try in vain to help anyway and begin pulling from your knowledge of geography, history, the sciences and math. You present all that to your child, but it doesn’t help them with their writing, which is their main pain point in their studies. What do you do to help serve the needs of your child which are writing? Do you continue doing maths instead? Or balancing chemical reactions with them? Do you switch to teach them facts about the middle ages?
The same is to be said with supporting someone emotionally. We each have a lifetimes store of knowledge in how we perceive “helping” someone. I wonder if some of you feel like the dejected parent above, that in spite of all of the knowledge and expertise you have, you still fall short of meeting the needs of someone you really want to help and see struggling. What can we do? Let’s relate this challenge in a parent being unable to help meet their child’s need for academic support in writing.
How many of you have found yourself in this situation where you know someone is struggling emotionally but don’t know where to turn to?
How many of you have found yourself with no way out aside from just trying to show how serious your pain is to others, to be met with silence?
How many of you have found yourself in a situation where you know you care and know you want to be that person to help but don’t know what to do?
We can best help those that need us by becoming more learned in understanding their core needs.
Why am I talking about this right now? Is this another COVID-19 post like any other? No. And maybe. Yes.
I am talking about this right now because I see a bunch of people flooding social media with happy posts, smiles, and just keeping the positivity going. It is great to see so much focus on things that get our heart rate up. Let us complement this positivity with some regard for how a lot of people are feeling right now but wish not to open up about it. People feeling down don’t need more positivity, they need someone to listen. People feeling down, isolated and in pain don’t need to be cheered up, they need to be honored, respected and validated. These are not productive approaches to supporting loved ones in an emotional crisis. What you are doing is exactly what the parent in the above example is doing. THIS is why I am talking about this right now. THIS is why I am talking about LivingWorks Start.
LivingWorks has a special message for you that I wish to share:
“Learn life-saving skills anywhere with LivingWorks Start
As we respond to the challenges of the COVID-19 crisis, many people are experiencing increased isolation, losses and anxiety. Now more than ever, we need effective suicide prevention skills.
That’s where LivingWorks Start comes in. In as little as one hour online, this interactive training program will give you the skills and knowledge to keep family, friends, co-workers, and others safe from suicide.
To support the need for skills training in this difficult time, we’ve significantly lowered the price of LivingWorks Start and are donating 25% of the proceeds to COVID-19 relief efforts.
How LivingWorks Start can help you:
>> Become more comfortable talking about suicide
>> Keep a loved one safe in times of distress
>> Support friends and co-workers
>> Build professional skills
>> Have peace of mind knowing you’re ready to help
Ready to take a stand?
Click LivingWorks Start to invest in this promotional offer. This significantly lowered price has been announced to be valid up through May 2020.