Category Archives: Uncategorized

EI = IE

Required reading for one of my assignments at iPEC© is “Energy Leadership” written by Bruce D. Schneider, the founder of iPEC© and creator of the Energy Leadership Index E.L.I.. In it, Bruce discusses with a client the power of EI = IE. EI stands for emotional intelligence and IE stands for interpersonal effectiveness. Spoiler alert: Bruce recounts coaching a CEO on how activating this formula keeps you true to your inner intuition, connecting you more deeply with your work and your peers.

In my work with my clients, I have seen much cyclical thoughts on rationalization and intellectualizing some obstacle between or among people and there is somewhat of a power struggle with achieving the best win/ win outcome for everyone. When in discussion, typical thoughts around button pushing and judgmental thoughts arise. A sense of entitlement comes up and a division between people, their wants and needs and idea of what should be happening and not what could be happening. Just like with Bruce, I ask questions that get you to see from the opposing person’s perspective. Questions you may stop and ask yourself are, “What makes me think that person feels that way?” or, “What might it look like if that person agreed with me?” In an ideal situation, we could always get along and always feel each other’s needs. But what work has not happened yet to arrive to such a win/win outcome? There are perhaps physical or internal stipulations in a situation that make a win/win non-negotiable, however, what is it that you value most in an interaction with one or more people? What is it that you seek as an outcome? How would it feel for you to feel heard, validated or acknowledged? What is your intuition telling you in your relationship with this other person?

Feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is something we are all familiar with to varying degrees and it is completely normal to want to throw in the towel, so to speak. What is it your heart is saying to you? How do you want to feel in this relationship with this person? How do you want the other person to feel in concert with how you feel? It is okay to feel stuck, it is okay to feel mad and if you have been feeling void of any of the aforementioned thoughts while in the heat of the moment, then it makes complete sense why you would feel extreme stress, anxiety, feelings of being emotionally drained and mentally taxed. Another book, which I carry with me at all times, is Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” In it, Stephen discloses the key to harmonious relationships and the highest level of interpersonal effectiveness arises from transcendence of an outcome: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood®. “

What methods work for you when you are feeling completely wrung out in a relationship? If I may, as an energetic coach-to-be, ask what you envision for your relationship in the future? How might that look like? From what point of view do you look at your relationship from? Communication is essential in any relationship and exercising empathy is a way to complement your communication. Your thoughts influence how your perceive your reality. Energy attracts like energy. What are your options right now?

A habit that I am practicing twice daily is one I wish to share with you: think of three things that you are grateful for before you go to sleep. Sit in that and visualize those three things and be still. Breath in for five seconds, hold that breath, then breathe out for three seconds. Repeat three times and then go back to your regular breathing. Mindfulness, meditation, centering and being still have been scientifically proven time, and time again, to help diminish levels of anxiety, stress and illness. You’ve got this.

If this post resonated with you, share your thoughts below. If you feel you would like to learn more about EI = IE or you feel creating an action plan instead of feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is for you, I can help you here.

EI = IE

One of my favorite things to do is to watch videos of the diverse lives we all lead. I feel insodoing, I develop a deeper respect and appreciation for various methods humans overcome adversity. We all respond, act, and react to adversity in different ways on account of our varying past experiences. I find it fascinating that it is normal to compare our lives to another’s for validation, perspective shift, or other. When we compare experiences, it helps us to cope with our own feelings toward circumstance. The fact of the matter is, we all go through good times and we all go through growing times. Adversely, we are all especially conscientious how to overcome our own adversities without drawing too much attention to ourselves or exploiting another’s life to feel better about our own. It makes complete sense that we wish to stay under the radar, to receive validation for it, but not broadcast and be overtly Broadway about it. To overcome such self-judgments, I turned to YouTube, primarily, as a way to gain insight into the many ways lifestyles are dictated by our choices in the face of adversity. Diversity is what ties us all together. We are all so different, which I find to be the most beautiful gift of all. I respect you and I want you to know that.

What does it mean to you to be emotionally spent? What does it mean to you to feel emotionally spent? What do you sense when you are emotionally spent?

As I recollect my journey, I reflect on what I would like my niches in Life coaching to be. In the meantime, treat this space as an encouragement venue for one another, a place to champion our differences to one another, to support one another, and to speak about adversity overcome as opportunities to learn from one another. As one of my client’s says, we can draw from one another’s strengths and with that having been said, we have infinite potential for capacity and an unlimited knowledge base. There is more clarity in diversity.

In growing times, having additional support helps us to gain an additional layer to learning. Therapy and counseling can help us to work toward healing from our past. Life coaching doesn’t entail with therapy or counseling and is not a substitute for seeking clinical and professional support. With that having been said, in the event you are looking for a life coach, it is vital that you let them know that you are seeing a therapist, have seen a therapist and/ or are considering seeing one. In my case, I would expect to know at what point you may stand.

I divert to speaking on this topic to emphasize this will be my niche. I wish to provide learning opportunities and growth potential in personal development to those working toward healing from their past. It is okay and normal to be in counseling and therapy, and to want to work toward healing from past wounds. We all would like to be present so that we can feel calm, cool and collected enough to step forward out of our circles. I want to help those currently coming into psychological counseling or therapy gain clarity and focus for creation of that first step out. Contact me here to learn more.

Here is a link to my first blog post. The post is about button pushing and ways you can manage your reactive state, pre, during, and post experience of when you have a growing moment. The steps I shared here is part of a toolkit that I teach you as a Life coach to be with a niche in personal development. This is a tool that I gained credit of iPEC and I wish to share it with you. Reaching out for support in growing times can be overwhelming and intimidating of a process. Feeling uncertain and unsure about how to manage one’s reactions is completely normal and anyone in your shoes would feel the same way. All of our learning opportunities occur on a case-by-case basis but if you do decide that taking the chance and applying this tool will work for you, then it will. I believe in you and I know you have it in you to conquer your growing moment. Self-care, creating boundaries and catching yourself in the heat of a learning opportunity takes practice and I know you can do this. You are worth it and you deserve clarity.

EI = IE

Required reading for one of my assignments at iPEC© is “Energy Leadership” written by Bruce D. Schneider, the founder of iPEC© and creator of the Energy Leadership Index E.L.I.. In it, Bruce discusses with a client the power of EI = IE. EI stands for emotional intelligence and IE stands for interpersonal effectiveness. Spoiler alert: Bruce recounts coaching a CEO on how activating this formula keeps you true to your inner intuition, connecting you more deeply with your work and your peers.

In my work with my clients, I have seen much cyclical thoughts on rationalization and intellectualizing some obstacle between or among people and there is somewhat of a power struggle with achieving the best win/ win outcome for everyone. When in discussion, typical thoughts around button pushing and judgmental thoughts arise. A sense of entitlement comes up and a division between people, their wants and needs and idea of what should be happening and not what could be happening. Just like with Bruce, I ask questions that get you to see from the opposing person’s perspective. Questions you may stop and ask yourself are, “What makes me think that person feels that way?” or, “What might it look like if that person agreed with me?” In an ideal situation, we could always get along and always feel each other’s needs. But what work has not happened yet to arrive to such a win/win outcome? There are perhaps physical or internal stipulations in a situation that make a win/win non-negotiable, however, what is it that you value most in an interaction with one or more people? What is it that you seek as an outcome? How would it feel for you to feel heard, validated or acknowledged? What is your intuition telling you in your relationship with this other person?

Feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is something we are all familiar with to varying degrees and it is completely normal to want to throw in the towel, so to speak. What is it your heart is saying to you? How do you want to feel in this relationship with this person? How do you want the other person to feel in concert with how you feel? It is okay to feel stuck, it is okay to feel mad and if you have been feeling void of any of the aforementioned thoughts while in the heat of the moment, then it makes complete sense why you would feel extreme stress, anxiety, feelings of being emotionally drained and mentally taxed. Another book, which I carry with me at all times, is Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” In it, Stephen discloses the key to harmonious relationships and the highest level of interpersonal effectiveness arises from transcendence of an outcome: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood®. “

What methods work for you when you are feeling completely wrung out in a relationship? If I may, as an energetic coach-to-be, ask what you envision for your relationship in the future? How might that look like? From what point of view do you look at your relationship from? Communication is essential in any relationship and exercising empathy is a way to complement your communication. Your thoughts influence how your perceive your reality. Energy attracts like energy. What are your options right now?

A habit that I am practicing twice daily is one I wish to share with you: think of three things that you are grateful for before you go to sleep. Sit in that and visualize those three things and be still. Breath in for five seconds, hold that breath, then breathe out for three seconds. Repeat three times and then go back to your regular breathing. Mindfulness, meditation, centering and being still have been scientifically proven time, and time again, to help diminish levels of anxiety, stress and illness. You’ve got this.

If this post resonated with you, share your thoughts below. If you feel you would like to learn more about EI = IE or you feel creating an action plan instead of feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is for you, I can help you here.

EI = IE

Required reading for one of my assignments at iPEC© is “Energy Leadership” written by Bruce D. Schneider, the founder of iPEC© and creator of the Energy Leadership Index E.L.I.. In it, Bruce discusses with a client the power of EI = IE. EI stands for emotional intelligence and IE stands for interpersonal effectiveness. Spoiler alert: Bruce recounts coaching a CEO on how activating this formula keeps you true to your inner intuition, connecting you more deeply with your work and your peers.

In my work with my clients, I have seen much cyclical thoughts on rationalization and intellectualizing some obstacle between or among people and there is somewhat of a power struggle with achieving the best win/ win outcome for everyone. When in discussion, typical thoughts around button pushing and judgmental thoughts arise. A sense of entitlement comes up and a division between people, their wants and needs and idea of what should be happening and not what could be happening. Just like with Bruce, I ask questions that get you to see from the opposing person’s perspective. Questions you may stop and ask yourself are, “What makes me think that person feels that way?” or, “What might it look like if that person agreed with me?” In an ideal situation, we could always get along and always feel each other’s needs. But what work has not happened yet to arrive to such a win/win outcome? There are perhaps physical or internal stipulations in a situation that make a win/win non-negotiable, however, what is it that you value most in an interaction with one or more people? What is it that you seek as an outcome? How would it feel for you to feel heard, validated or acknowledged? What is your intuition telling you in your relationship with this other person?

Feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is something we are all familiar with to varying degrees and it is completely normal to want to throw in the towel, so to speak. What is it your heart is saying to you? How do you want to feel in this relationship with this person? How do you want the other person to feel in concert with how you feel? It is okay to feel stuck, it is okay to feel mad and if you have been feeling void of any of the aforementioned thoughts while in the heat of the moment, then it makes complete sense why you would feel extreme stress, anxiety, feelings of being emotionally drained and mentally taxed. Another book, which I carry with me at all times, is Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” In it, Stephen discloses the key to harmonious relationships and the highest level of interpersonal effectiveness arises from transcendence of an outcome: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood®. “

What methods work for you when you are feeling completely wrung out in a relationship? If I may, as an energetic coach-to-be, ask what you envision for your relationship in the future? How might that look like? From what point of view do you look at your relationship from? Communication is essential in any relationship and exercising empathy is a way to complement your communication. Your thoughts influence how your perceive your reality. Energy attracts like energy. What are your options right now?

A habit that I am practicing twice daily is one I wish to share with you: think of three things that you are grateful for before you go to sleep. Sit in that and visualize those three things and be still. Breath in for five seconds, hold that breath, then breathe out for three seconds. Repeat three times and then go back to your regular breathing. Mindfulness, meditation, centering and being still have been scientifically proven time, and time again, to help diminish levels of anxiety, stress and illness. You’ve got this.

If this post resonated with you, share your thoughts below. If you feel you would like to learn more about EI = IE or you feel creating an action plan instead of feeling mentally suffocated and emotionally drained in a relationship is for you, I can help you here.

Emotional Management

What thoughts does the word ’emotions’ evoke for you? Emotions are highly diverse, intricate and tightly woven in with our personal histories, present experiences and future concerns. Feeling like emotions are in the driver’s seat, so to speak, is completely normal. At what point may we consider putting another force in the driver’s seat. What drives your emotions? In a recent webinar for coaching, I learned that emotions can be channeled to work for us and not against us. Oft times, we allow our emotions to become instigated by internal and external voices bringing us to transfer blame, to ignore or to want to run away from what is provoking deep internalized feelings of guilt, fear, sadness or other. What instigates our emotions? In other words, what is pushing our buttons?

When discussing with a client what they would like to work on in session, there are a plethora of opportunities to work through, many of which carry some internal pressures accumulated over time. Perhaps stress, fatigue, or even suppressed feelings and emotions toward someone or something. It reflect on the two types of energies in the universe: catabolic and anabolic. Catabolic energy tears down and initiates a state of atrophy, whereas anabolic energy builds up and elevates a state of existence into a higher power. Across all clients, the pattern is us allowing our buttons to be pushed and falling into a tailspin while channeling catabolic energy. We have all experienced this tailspin from catabolic energy and it makes complete sense why we become incomprehensible to ourselves and incidentally emotionally spent. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. One of my mentors states that we become comfortable in our self-destructive ways. If we fall yesterday, then we shall get back up today. What is it costing you to be in a perpetual state of emotional mismanagement?