Acceptance and Approval

How far will we go to get acceptance and approval. Almost everything we do is either positively reinforced or negatively reinforced to encourage or discourage a behavior, respectively. Now whether that behavior is favorable to you or not, is something to consider.

Is it worth the rejection to voice unhappiness with your life when you know that there are others in the world you perceive as having it harder than you?

Is it worth the being silenced to express disappointment with something gone wrong in your life when you can rationalize why others may not value your feelings about your current situation?

Do we value our own feelings enough, to weather the predictions and assumptions we have in our head of what others may think about us, to speak anyway even though there may be backlash — someone has it harder than you– even though there may be retaliation — rationalization that others have been through what you’ve been through before so what real point is there to feel down?

Society and all those within it, advertisements, media, clinicians, family members, friends, colleagues, those in our institutions of faith as well as public and private establishments of educations say things all day and they may have it laden with good intentions but is it really helpful? Are good intentions really helpful? Is rationalizing that good intention bringing up certain feelings of resentment and compulsory self-oppression to achieve the silence so as not to rock the boat, or break the peace?

Perhaps, some of us may grandiose, perhaps some of have low self-esteem, perhaps some of us are being ungrateful, perhaps some of us are self-absorbed or “doing it for attention.” Perhaps some of us have daddy issues. Perhaps some of us are sick. Perhaps some of ……..Perhaps you need to get professional help. Ah, you are feeling bad again today? Get over it, you don’t see me complaining. Just go do something to distract yourself.

Listen to the feelings that come up when people attempt to label you….these people are sensing something and they are sensing that they don’t know how to help support you. These people are telling you that they don’t know what to tell you. These people, some of them, may be calling you out on some things, depending on your relationship with them. Right now, I am encouraging you to consider tuning into your own feelings and listening to yourself.

“Self-care is not something we do after everything is done. Self-care is how we do everything.”
-Minou Hexspoor, The Nomad Coach

Remember for weeks I was speaking about suicide prevention, suicide intervention and suicide prevention?

Here is a general breakdown of what each of those looks like:

Suicide Prevention:
Community support services public and faith-based, clinical support, social network, professional network, hobbies, physical activities

Suicide Intervention:
Community support services public and faith-based, clinical support, social network, professional network, hobbies, physical activities

Suicide Postvention:
Community support services public and faith-based, clinical support, social network, professional network, hobbies, physical activities

Anything and everything we do that keeps us engaged within ourselves in our daily lives and fuels hope to live our next moments in our lives, is part of our self-care and that self-care is defined as how we show up in everything we do in our lives. What happens when we start to feel disconnected and less engaged within ourselves, we start to feel less to look forward to and like there is no point any more. We cannot assume what suicide intervention looks like for anyone because we each are unique individuals with very personal ideas about suicide. And folx feeling that none of the things in life are working, don’t necessarily have thoughts of suicide or some way to be “identified.” It is best to keep an open mind and to trust our intuition to support one another during extremely dark and difficult times.

What can we do when we don’t feel accepted and approved of? And what can we do for others when they don’t feel accepted and approved of.

There is a chance that the way we perceive our extension of support and help will not necessarily match the perception of the person on the other end of your extension of support.

It is something to consider for us all. That our self-care is a reflection of how we feel at our core about ourselves. What does your self-care say about how you really perceive yourself and how does the way you perceive yourself impact the way you show up for others?

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My self-care looks like the above organizations that gave me incredible skills raising my own self-awareness to how I was showing up in my life and how even in the most minute things I did, I was inadvertently impacting and influencing energy in my world. My self-care looks like sharing universal wisdom, like having the serenity to realize I cannot control much of anything except how I respond to things going unplanned. I learned and am practicing serenity through a new paradigm of iPEC’s which is thatΒ  there are no right or wrong answers. What exists, is only our perception to an answer. Otherwise the answer would stand unjudged, unperceived.

My self-care looks like sharing what I have learned with others because I feel I want to help others raise their self-awareness to thought patterns and behaviors and to create disruptive activities such as my Life coaching and digital retreats. Sometimes we get stuck and getting an outside perspective helps us in taking action to pivot in our life.

Why wait until the opportune moment? Why wait until you know “for sure” that something is relevant and applicable in your life? Why procrastinate? Why put off?

What is keeping you from shifting your perception of your self-care and from taking action doing something you haven’t thought you were qualified for?

There is more to life than the beginning and the end.

Author

pikjohnson@ucdavis.edu
I want this to be a safe space to share my goings-on while I dig deep into my journey of self-discovery. What brings me to my desire to share my journey? I wish to provide life-coaching services to others. I coach to help others uncover what it is that is holding them back from accomplishing what is dearest in their hearts, spirit and minds. I am currently a student at iPEC, Institute of Professional Excellence in coaching. I am determined to disseminate my coaching services to all those interested. While I coach, I also would like to share bits and pieces of what it is that I do as a life coach-to-be and inversely, what I do not do. I am an imagineer, at your service. That is the best way I can describe a life coach to you. As a life coach-to-be, I can teach you how to think outside the box, consider alternative perspectives and reflect on what influences your thoughts. If any of this sounds like something you are experiencing, what is stopping you from moving forward? A space to message me may be found on the middle menu option on my home page. I acknowledge, appreciate and embody gratitude for each and every one of you and the struggles which you endeavour each and every moment. No one is a stranger to adversity. We can all overcome adversity because of our combined diversity. Thank you for contributing your time into our growing and collective, worldly diversity. Endearingly yours, Kim

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